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bass_guitar_freak
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Name: Don't ask
Location: Houston, United States
Birthday: 3/5/1991
Gender: Female
Interests: I love my horse, mars and I like sum 41 and love playing bass guitar and my saxaphone.
Expertise: Rambling on and on about nothing...being stupid...horsebackriding..my alto sax...and annoying people.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Other
Message: message me
AIM:  bassguitarfreak4
Member Since:
2/6/2005
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| Lets see.. umm, today I went out to the barn and rode mars. He was being a bit of a fartknocker so i *attempted* to jump him. I can't freaking jump to save my life. Dressage, not jumping. I wish I could though. It was fun when I was jumping cross country with seven, because I was in control, but with mars I just can't bring myself to want to get over it. Its like no matter how bad I want it, I just lose the courage to do it. It bugs me, because I really want to learn how to jump again, maybe do a few classes with mars sometime. I am a chicken. dammit...I am just mad at myself because it was like only like 18 inches. I just feel like I can't ride for crap, and it bugs me. I feel like I havn't accomplished anything. I mean, my horse is doing so well, and I feel like I'm holding him back. | | |
| Got a new myspace account. www.myspace.com/buggy41 good stuff, good stuff. Why the hell am i telling you this? Its not like anyone reads my crap! Go to my site though, its got a cool layout. And my entries are funnier. The whole reason I joined myspace was because I could talk to bands. Like the plain white tees. Or as you wish. Or makeshifte. They all emailed me back. It was flippin awsome! | | |
| Had a good day today. Woke up at 11 (thanks mommy and daddy for letting me sleep!) then went to college station with Phillip. We went on a hayride and saw these really cool lights that were put up. It was so pretty. But cold. Phillip shared his blanket with me, so i was warm. :|) I had a lot of fun. | | |
| Feeling not too great. Dunno whats wrong. I really don't want to deal with this crap anymore. I can't even explain it anymore, its just something that hangs over me all of the time. I am always thinking about it, and when I am not thinking about it, I feel so sad all the time. I don't even know why I am so upset. I feel bad for everyone around me because they have to deal with me being like this. I can't feel anymore, its like no matter what happens, I am still sad. I'm scared of myself now. I mean, I have had a great week, got an 88 on the algebra final, Phillip asked me out, I am on Christmas vacation, and Nisse told me that a *new german trainer* would be coming next year (congrats nisse). I am trying to suck it up and be normal, but its not working. | | |
| Had a bad day. No one fucked it up, I just had so much on my mind. And also considering the fact that I didn't take my meds. I had to walk around the race-track 3 times to clear my head and figure out what I was so upset about. It was bad. Everything I did made me feel horrible, like I was the worst person to be around. I had to literally keep myself from completely losing it in front of Melanie and Danielle the entire day. *Mel and Danielle, I am really really really really sorry I was so pissy and out of it today * I feel bad that I got so upset, but i wasn't mad at my horse. I was just really angry with some of the other riders in the arena, (if you could call them that) I was trying to work somethings out with mars at one end of the arena, but I couldn't find a place, then mars went nuts, and danielle doesn't understand that when he spins and stuff, he dosen't run off, he goes up. Thats why I didn't want to use my whip. You can't get pissed off at my horse and get angry with him. Trust me, if I could, right then when he started spinning, I would have rode the crap out of him. I am not afraid to use my whip, I just know that I can't. I get that feeling, I know his breaking point. He has reared with me before. If you want to tell me that I am not punishing my horse enough, you go do it. I am not saying "oh no, horses never do anything wrong", but I know my horse, and i know when he has learned his lesson. If you want to tell me what to do, you go get on him. I know he was being an ass, and I did get angry with him, and that is why he was fucking around like that. I am not saying that it didn't made me pissed, because I was so freaking mad. *this entry is directed to no one in particuler, so no one take it personally* | | |
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